I am watching college football and my Alma mater is losing to the team that was our biggest gymnastics rival when I competed for Penn State. Yes, JoePa and the Nittany Lions are being outplayed by Ohio State. (Stupid Buckeyes.) Although I have nothing to do with the outcome of the game and I have no financial interest in who is the victor, I still want my team to win and the fact that they will lose has made me just a wee bit grumpy. I know this grumpy feeling will last approximately 64 seconds after the game actually ends, and then it will be gone. Because even though I wanted them to win, my mood for the day does not depend on it whatsoever.

Shift gears… Cooper currently has two favorite songs. One is titled “The Best Day Ever” (sung by Spongebob Squarepants). The other song is “Bad Day” (by Daniel Powter). Best Day Ever and Bad Day. I find it interesting that the extremes of “best” and “bad” are what appeals to him. It makes some sense though. He has trouble finding the middle ground. Usually he is at one or the other end of the emotional spectrum….Completely happy and satisfied or agitated and inconsolable.

On Wednesday of this week he had a really hard transition from school to home. By the time we got home he was in such a state that he and I sat on the landing of our stairs for a good 20 minutes. I just held him while he sobbed. At some point he said, “I’m sorry mom.”
I said, “You have nothing to be sorry about.” (big pause) Then I said, “I hate to see you cry.”
He responded, “I know. Me too. I can’t help it.”

And therein lies the rub. He can’t help it. When the ‘bad day’ comes upon him, nothing but time will work it out. I’m glad that now his language has come along to the point where we can dialogue a bit. It opened my eyes to hear him say, “I know. Me too. I can’t help it.” Wow.

The highs and lows of daily life (like my favorite team winning or not) don’t rock my day. I don’t determine “Best Day Ever” or “Bad Day” based on the circumstances around me, or else emotionally I’d be a wreck. My joy has to come from elsewhere. For Cooper, helping him control his sense of “ok-ness” regardless of external circumstances is quite a challenge. The fact that the school bell rang before he had his backpack ready (on top of some other end-of-the-day events) sent him into tailspin. I am thankful that he vocalized to me that the emotional swings are tough for him, too. I’m hopeful this is a baby step towards even more mature dialogue about them. Who knows, maybe one day we be able to sing together, “It’s a Good Day” in the face of anything that comes our way.

Have the BEST DAY EVER!
~peace.